Thank you so much for listening to Mommy - she was thrilled when you decided to start events leading up to your appearance on 4/20 but waited until 4/21 to actually show up. And what an appearance it was - you're absolutely beautiful and we couldn't be happier to see that perfect cherub-like face.
But it's about the screaming - the daily (or, in most cases, nightly) eight to twelve hours of almost uninterrupted screaming. I realize that you may think the fact that you're so adorable makes up for the fact that you're a total pill but cute only goes so far. Dad said it best this morning: you're kicking our asses. We could deal with having to get up ever few hours for feedings - your big brother Coltrane got us used to that with his 5 times a night pee breaks - but the fact that you simply won't sleep must change soon.
The doctor says you have reflux and although it kills me to give medicine to my child whose life is still measured in days, we've been loading you up with Zantac twice a day in hopes that it will help. So far it doesn't seem to be doing anything other than pissing you off when we squirt foul-tasting liquid into your mouth but your doctor insists it will take up to a week so we're trying to be patient.
We have so much we want to do with and for you. Mommy would like to have 30 minutes a day to take a shower or a 15 minute recess from the screaming fest to give you a sponge bath so people don't look at her like some horrible neglectful woman when she takes you out in public with your face covered in vomit. And Daddy wants a few quiet moments to pay bills so that mean people don't come cut off our electricity and kick us out of our house. But, we can't do any of that with you insisting on partying like rock star at all hours of the morning.
I love you so much little bean. You really are perfect and we couldn't be happier to have you here - now be a good boy, listen to Mama and show us how well you can sleep in that cute little Star Wars crib of yours.